Iris Dekker died via VSED (voluntary stopping of eating and drinking) on March 1, five days before her 20th birthday, in Bergen op Zoom, Netherlands. Her parents Omar and Cissy Dekker did not oppose the decision. Iris had lifelong depression, multiple suicide attempts going back to age 15, and a diagnosis of functional neurological disorder. At 15, after two failed suicide attempts, her psychologist suggested euthanasia as a "more humane" pathway; she applied at 16, which is legal in the Netherlands without parental consent. When the euthanasia clinic didn't respond, she pursued VSED, which the Dutch medical system treats as a sanctioned end-of-life pathway. In the Netherlands, 8 people under 25 died by euthanasia for mental health alone in 2023; 13 in 2024; 7 in 2025.

1. The Parents Acted From Love (the Dekkers, autonomy-respecting view)

They didn't want her to die. They couldn't keep forcing her to live a life she said she didn't want.

Cissy Dekker: "It's very hard as a mother that your child doesn't want to live anymore, but I knew this was not the life I had in mind for her when I gave birth to her." She also said, "I don't want my little girl to die, but out of love, I also don't want this life for her." From this view, the parents' position isn't endorsement of suicide; it's recognition that they had reached the end of what they could do to make their daughter want to keep living, and that overriding her wishes by force would have been about them, not her.

Omar Dekker: "If I stopped her from dying, it would only be for my own ego, and not for her." He added that doctors had told them there was nothing more that could be done. The autonomy-respecting frame says that when treatment has failed, when the patient is competent, and when the suffering is decades long, refusing to honor her decision is its own kind of cruelty. The Newsweek piece "I Was Anorexic -- I Would Have Chosen Assisted Dying" makes the same case from the patient side.

2. This Is a Failure of Psychiatric Care (Royal College of Psychiatry, F.E.A.S.T., Hastings Center)

Depression and eating disorders are treatable. A 15-year-old being told euthanasia is "humane" is the clinical failure, not the patient's bad outcome.

The Royal College of Psychiatry, F.E.A.S.T., and the Hastings Center have all rejected the "terminal" framing for severe mental illness in young people. Depression and FND are treatable conditions, even when the patient currently doesn't hold the hope of recovery. The pediatric brain isn't fully developed until ~25; assessing "no treatment will ever work" at 15, 16, or even 19 is precisely the assessment the brain isn't ready to make. From this side, what was needed was different treatment, not a sanctioned pathway out.

The "terminal anorexia" category itself is contested by major bioethicists. Psychiatric Times: "an invalid construct that does not justify medical aid in dying." The argument is that calling treatment-resistant mental illness "terminal" reclassifies an active treatment problem as a fixed condition, and then offers death as the solution to a problem the medical system failed to solve. Iris tried ECT and ketamine — but "not in an effort to improve her condition," per The Free Press. That's the failure, this side says, that should have been addressed before VSED was on the table.

3. The Dutch System Has Quietly Normalized This for Teens (structural read)

Eight under-25s died by mental-health euthanasia in 2023. Thirteen in 2024. VSED as a backstop when the formal pathway is denied. This isn't a one-off.

The Dutch protocol allows euthanasia from age 12 with parental consent and 16 without. When Iris's euthanasia request didn't come through, the system offered VSED as a sanctioned alternative — not a refusal, just a different mechanism. The case isn't a one-off; it's the visible end of a system that has institutionalized assisted dying as a backstop for psychiatric conditions in young people.

A 28-year-old Dutch woman with autism and depression was scheduled for euthanasia in 2024, generating similar global debate. From this view, the deeper question isn't whether the Dekkers acted correctly for their daughter; it's whether any system should put adolescents and young adults with treatable psychiatric conditions on a pathway whose endpoint is medically supervised death. The numbers are still small, but they are growing, and the public debate hasn't caught up to the actual policy.

Where This Lands

A 19-year-old in the Netherlands died earlier this year via voluntary starvation, with hospice support, terminal sedation, and her parents' acceptance, after years of depression, FND, and multiple suicide attempts. Her parents say they acted from love and from the recognition that nothing more could be done. Others say depression and FND are treatable, that the pediatric brain isn't ready to make "no treatment will work" assessments, and that the system failed Iris well before VSED was on offer. And yet others say the Dutch protocol has normalized psychiatric assisted dying for young people, and that the policy debate has lagged behind the practice. The hardest part of the story isn't whether any individual parent or doctor was wrong; it's that the system itself made a death pathway available to a teenager whose conditions, by professional consensus, are treatable.

If you or someone you know is struggling, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available in the US (call or text 988). For eating disorder support, the National Alliance for Eating Disorders helpline is the most current resource. In the UK, the Samaritans can be reached at 116 123. Depression and eating disorders are treatable conditions, and support is available.

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